Sunday, March 28, 2010

Not so good

Life has made blogging tres difficile this past week.

It's made sticking to stated goals, a la 20 Little Things, a bit dicey, too.

Let's see. There was work. There was Jazzercise. There was crafting an email containing my best story ideas ever to a certain magazine.

There was fretting about all of the above.

There was a certain degree of laziness. And tiredness. I've been feeling really tired lately.So, yes, there was at least one nap.

There was NCAA basketball to watch. Go STATE! And a weird technical issue at work that messed with my schedule.

There was some sadness that my wonderful next-door neighbors were moving out. Sigh. No more wagon rides for two little buddies. No more knowing just who to ask if we need someone to water our flowers when we go out of town. No more nice conversations in the front yard.

Oh, and there was an Easter egg hunt. Must not forget the cutest part of my week of lazy.

Lost in the wreckage of the week, besides a few planned blog posts, were Random Act of Kindness Day, as well as my plan to fast.

On Tuesday, I sort of meant to fast. That's the problem -- my commitment was so half-hearted.

The funny thing is, life made eating difficult that day. I hate to be like, it was God messing with me!, because aw, I don't know. But first I ran out of time for breakfast at home. So on the way to work, I pulled into the doughnut place before I realized I had no cash. That's all they take. So I got back on the road and saw my bank had a branch on the next corner. I pulled in. Through the exit. So then I had to turn myself around like a big weirdo, all the while wondering if the bank had me on camera and would put my license plate in some "suspicious activity" file. Also I was thinking, "Is this really worth it for a damn glazed cinnamon bun?"

I guess it was, because I got the bun. Then lunch came. I decided since I hadn't fasted at breakfast, there was no point at lunch. So I began to walk up to the cafeteria, when low and behold, I saw my wallet was missing. Duh. D'oh! I left it in my car. A trek out to the parking lot a block away later, and 15 minutes later, I was back at my desk, enjoying my salad. (Of course, eating a salad for lunch makes up for eating a doughnut for breakfast, don't cha know.) Halfway in, my plastic fork broke, mid-spear. I had to finish the rest of the damn thing with a mini fork. And with my fingers.

So can you see why I started to wonder if I really was supposed to fast that day?

I know have only a few days left until April to complete that, as well as write a had-written letter, call my brothers, do my random act of kindness, and go to breakfast with friends. Also, newsflash: the dinner party that's on my list? It's happening in less than two weeks, and I don't have invites out or a menu planned. Also, I've way behind on my book reading, my water drinking has tapered off in a major way, I have yet to set aside 30 minutes for prayer in one week, I haven't taken a video of Luke on our real camera yet in 2010, Jazzercise was totally replaced running and if I've going to grow my own herbs, I need to get going with that now that it is spring!

Damn it!

I hate feeling like I'm so off track. So. My plan for today: I'm going to drink water until my pee runneth clear. I'll see if any friends can have breakfast tomorrow. I will make my menu for the dinner party. I'll write my letter. I will call my brothers. And I will say it now, for the record, that it's official: I will fast on Tuesday. And I'll pray for 15 minutes after Luke goes to bed.

I mean it.


I'll do it all. Right after a little more NCAA basketball...

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